Remembering My Grandmother on Mother's Day

My grandma Helen was always a rock in my world. Though I lived out of state for the first ten years of my life, visiting my grandparents was always filled with joy and love. Some of my most happy memories are of visiting her and my grandfather at Christmas, Easter, and the summer months.

 
As the only granddaughter of six grandchildren, some might say I was a little spoiled. And I suppose that was true. My grandma, the youngest of twelve children, was a little bit spoiled too. In some ways, it was more like we were mother/daughter, sisters or best friends, or all of these. We were, and still are, very close.

I have such wonderful memories as a child of sitting on the front steps of her home eating sunflower seeds and smelling the geraniums as the sun set in the summer; shopping and lunching at Dayton’s and at Young Quinlan’s; the lovely flocked Christmas trees each year; exploring the basement in her home…so many wonderful things to find from a child’s perspective; and the wonderful times as an adult shopping, lunching, and just chatting.

It is just a year and a half since she has passed and I miss her everyday. I feel her when I am shopping. I feel her when my aunt and I are out and about. She is right there with us as we laugh while catching up for hours. She is with me when I am sad, her spirit encouraging me as I continue on my journey.

 

My grandma is around me like bright sparkling glitter that never really is gone. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful grandma still with me from Heaven.

Happy Mother’s Day my dearest Grandma. Sending hugs to Heaven. xoxoxo

 

June 1964



Civility Begins with Me!

May is Global Civility Awareness Month

How will you Celebrate? 

7 Additional Etiquette Tips for the Overnight Guest

Being an overnight guest whether it is with family or friends can be challenging. I recently posted nine etiquette tips for being a good overnight guest. Here are seven additional tips that will help you navigate the nuances of being a gracious overnight guest and preserve the relationship.

• It seems to go without saying, however, do not bring soiled laundry to your host's home expecting to wash it there. It has happened where people are so busy with work and getting ready for the trip that they bring some dirty laundry with them to do at their host's home upon arrival. The best way to handle this is better planning. 
  
  If you are staying more than several days and/or have children, you may need to wash a load of clothing. Do ask your hosts for permission rather than assuming it is OK to do your laundry at their home.  

• Offer to assist with cooking, dishes, or grocery shopping. If on your third offer to assist and your host says no thank you, there is no need to pursue this further. 

• Plan to take your hosts to dinner or to cook a meal. Depending on the length of your stay, this could be once or twice. If you are staying a few days, then once is fine. Should you be staying a week, then twice would be considerate. 

• Remove your bedsheets on your last morning, placing them neatly on the end of the bed. Note that some hosts will say to simply leave the bedding on the bed. Honor your host's request. 

• Remember to return keys and/or a garage door opener to your host. 

• If you borrowed the host's vehicle, fill it to at least the level that you found in the vehicle, or top it off if possible. An alternative is to leave enough cash for the host to cover the cost of replacing the gasoline.

 

• Leave a thank you note for your host. Alternatively, send one within a week of arriving home. 

9 Etiquette Tips for the Overnight Guest

Will you be staying overnight with family or friends for Christmas? It isn't always easy staying with someone in their home, on their turf. While they may be family or friends, we often have different sleeping patterns, organization habits, cooking styles, and more. Following are etiquette tips for being a good overnight guest and how to make the experience more enjoyable for all.

Guests:

• Bring a hostess gift. This can be a candle, picture frame, candy, flavored oil, spices, or a green or flowering plant. Also thoughtful is a regional gift such as a local wine, jams, cookbook, or travel book for your hosts to begin planning their trip to visit you. 

 

• When told to "make yourself at home," do be gracious and neat. Avoid loud music or TVs, leaving clothing strewn about, bathroom towels in a pile, or the bed unmade. Ask your host where you should put your soiled linens, etc. Clean up your dishes, tidy the bathroom and your bedroom.

 

• As not everyone has the same sleep schedule, if you like to sleep in and your hosts are early risers, do discuss this ahead of time so that you can create an appropriate plan.

 

• Consider your sleeping attire. What goes at home might not work when others are present. Hence, sexy lingerie, sleeping in your underwear, or in the nude should be reserved for home. This is especially so if you are sleeping on the couch or an open room. And no, saying "I sleep better in the nude" will not work as an excuse. Err on the side of modesty.       

      

• If you have allergies, consider this in your plans of where to stay. If you are allergic to cats, and your host has a very furry kitty, do not expect your host to keep the cat in another room while you are there. In this case it is best for you to stay elsewhere such as at a hotel. 

   

• If you or your children have a fear of dogs, or other pets, do not expect your host to keep their pet in another room or outside during your visit. You are best staying elsewhere.    

       

• If all the bedrooms in your host's home are all on an upper level and you are unable to navigate the stairs, discuss this with your host. Perhaps there is an option to set up a sleeping arrangement on the main level.   

 

• Do not ask or expect your host's to offer their child's room to you.

 

• If you live with your boyfriend or girlfriend, though are staying with mom and dad for the holidays, respect their wishes of where you will sleep. Some parents won't have an issue with you and your significant other sleeping together in their home, while others will. You most likely know which way your parents feel. There is no need for an argument. If your parents are uncomfortable with your sleeping arrangements, and you feel you must sleep with your significant other, simply stay in a hotel

Etiquette Tips for Hosting Overnight Guests

 

Growing up we lived in California, Colorado, and Washington, so family often visited from out of town. Additionally, we would travel to Minnesota for many holidays and stay with my maternal grandparents. As a child, those are some of my happiest memories. As an adult, I have until a recent trip, always stayed in hotels, though I enjoy having out of town guests stay with me. As some of you may know, I recently had a very unpleasant experience as an out of town guest. In light of this, I thought I'd share some tips on what makes a good host.  

 

• Have an open heart when inviting guests to stay in your home. Avoid feeling it is an obligation or that you'll let them stay if they in turn do something for you.  
• When you say, "make yourself at home," mean it.  
• If your guests are unfamiliar with the area and will be doing some things on their own, provide information on local attractions, restaurants, stores. Also provide easy directions to and from your home and major roads as not everyone has GPS.  
• Provide toiletries (soap, lotions, etc.) and towels. Provide additional (or change out) hand towels for your guests.      
• Consider providing a welcome basket by their bed that includes snacks such as nuts, dried fruit, chips, breath mints, bottled water. You can even include a welcome note for an extra welcoming touch.
• Provide a key to the house and/or a garage door opener. 
 
• Dress appropriately. Even if you say, “well, it is my house!”, remember that you have guests who might not be comfortable seeing you in various stages of undress.
 
• As not everyone has the same sleep schedule, if you like to sleep in and your guests are early risers, have coffee, cereal, pastries, and the like, set out on the kitchen counter for your guests.  
 
• If you have food items that are being saved for the holiday dinner, or another time, simply remove them from the cupboards and put aside. If the item must be refrigerated, simply let your guest know that the item is put to the side for the holiday. Avoid saying something to the effect of "off limits" which will make your guest feel less than welcome.
 
• Ask your guests if they have any allergies that you need to be aware. For example, I love lotions and soaps that have a lot of scent, and also love automatic room sprays, and spray my curtains with perfume. As not everyone is comfortable with scents, it is good to ask so that you make your guests comfortable. 
 
• If your home's bedrooms are all on an upper level, do ask your guests if they will be able to navigate the stairs. This is for all ages. You may need to be prepared to set up a bed in the living room or family room.   
 
• If you don't have a guest room, consider where you will have your guests sleep. You may consider giving your guest your room rather than your child's room. As most master bedrooms have an en suite, this is a good alternative. Young children might enjoy giving their room to others if you can make it a fun adventure such as creating a blanket fort in the family room. Avoid moving teenagers out of their room as they really do need their privacy and space at this age.
 
• Invite your guests to do their laundry as needed, especially if they have children or are staying for more than several days.
 
• If your guests offer to help with cooking, dishes, grocery shopping, do let them. Most guests want to feel they are being helpful and contributing. 

 

Learn more on Holiday Etiquette from my recent radio segment on:

CBS WCCO 830: Holiday Etiquette 

Black Friday Shopping Etiquette – There Can Be Civility!

 

We have seen stories in the news for years of shoppers on Black Friday who are less than polite when driving in the parking lots, waiting in line, and while shopping. It seems odd that after a day of giving thanks, and being in the celebratory spirit, that people would turn into oafish beings. For some it is that their rude nature comes out, for others they are simply clueless, and others have shiny object syndrome.  

Following are some tips that can help make your Black Friday shopping, and holiday shopping overall, more pleasant.

Driving/Parking:

• Be mindful when driving in store/mall parking lots. The law in most states is to come to a complete stop and wait for those in the crosswalks (street and parking lots) to cross before proceeding. This doesn’t mean inching your way through.
• Do avoid driving the wrong way down the parking aisle just to get a parking spot. This often results in an impasse where neither driver has the ability or desire to move.
• In states with snow, remember that the parking spots are smaller due to snow piles so park accordingly. If snow is piled high and thick, avoid parking your extra-long truck/SUV in that spot as your tail end will be out too far in the lane for others to easily pass. It isn’t worth potential dings or scratches on your vehicle, so simply grit your teeth and look for another parking option.
• Avoid taking two parking spots as your one spot.
• If you have dropped someone off at the door, and are then waiting for them to shop, park in a regular parking space, not by the door in the “no parking” or “fire lane.” Traffic will be heavy and this will slow and hold up the flow. Under no circumstances park in the handicapped space unless you have a permit to do so and plan to go in to the store. These spaces are reserved for those who are handicapped and going inside the store to shop. These spaces are not “waiting” spaces.
• As you cross streets and parking lots, be mindful of traffic. Avoid using your cellphone or texting while crossing. It only takes an instant to ruin your holiday with an accident.
• If you bring a shopping cart out to your car, take a moment to put it in the appropriate cart return rather than by the car, or worse, in a handicapped parking space (which unfortunately happens often).

Lines:

• While waiting in a long line is often not what most people want to be doing, you will eventually have your turn.
• Don’t arrive early and then hold spots in line for your friends/family who plan to come a little later. How do you feel when this has happened to you?
• Remember that the cashiers are doing their best and it is quite challenging to work with angry shoppers. Even the volume and constant stream of shoppers can be tiring.
• When waiting in the checkout line and a new register opens, allow those who were ahead of you to go next. Don’t just jump to that register out of que.

Shopping:

• No cutting in front of, or pushing others out of the way, to get to an item you are wanting to purchase.
• Help keep the items on the shelves neat. If you need to search for the color or style you need and it is towards the back of the grouping, be sure you don’t leave the items all askew.
• Never ever take something out of another shopper’s hands or cart.
• Pick up after yourself in the dressing room. You know how annoying it is to go into a dressing room full of clothes on the hooks, benches, and chairs.
• Be careful with your shopping cart. So many people seem to push and shove others with their carts on Black Friday that traffic patrols and/or lights would be helpful.
• Be mindful of those with disabilities, in motorized carts, and parents with children in strollers. It is challenging enough to be out shopping when you have limited mobility, let alone on Black Friday.
• When in a shopping mall or store, avoid walking three or more across, thereby creating difficulty for others to pass. Walking single file is often needed.
• Avoid texting and talking on your phones as you are walking in order to avoid bumping into other shoppers or carts. Step to the side out of the way for calls and texting.
• The “magic words” are still; magic!:  Please, Thank You, Excuse Me, I’m Sorry, May I Help You?

Dining:

• Order quickly. If necessary, stand back from the line to peruse the menu items before getting in line. You have likely had the unfortunate experience of waiting while someone in front of you is still trying to decide what to order...while your stomache is growling. 
• When dining at the mall or other fast food restaurants, do clean up after yourself, tossing trash, putting away tray, and ensure that the table isn’t full of crumbs. Yes, you are in a hurry, though just as you appreciate when the table is cleared when you arrive, others also appreciate this.