Female Boss a Bully?

According to a report by the Daily Mail in, “Stressed Out and Angry: How The Modern Female Boss Became A Bully” (12.5.11), a survey by the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM) found that of their respondents:

• 20% of female bosses admit to shouting or being verbally
  abusive at work, and
• 10% of women executives admit to blaming and shaming colleagues when things go wrong.

According to BAAM’s director, Mike Fisher, “inability to deal with stress” was a key factor in lashing out at colleagues.

Verbal abuse, shouting, blaming and shaming is very disruptive to the worklife (and often homelife) of individuals and to the workplace in general.

On the upside, the vast majority of women in the study did not bully their colleagues, though those that did can make life miserable for their colleagues.

December Gift Giving Etiquette Guide

In planning gift giving to those born in December, note that December has several Flowers of the Month. These are:
 - Narcissus (also known as the Daffodil)
 - Holly
 - Poinsettia

Narcissus

Poinsettia

Holly

December also has several Gemstones of the Month. These are:
 - Turquoise
 - Zircon
 - Blue Topaz
 - Tanzanite

Blue Topaz

Tanzanite

Turquoise

 

Etiquette Books and Manners Games for Holiday Gift Giving

As you prepare for the holidays and holiday gift giving, here are suggested etiquette books and games perfect for those on your holiday shopping list! 

 

Manners for Kids (Ages 6-8)

Blunders, Family Game by Successful Kids, www.blundersmania.com.

Buzby, the Misbehaving Bee, (Max Lucado's Hermie & Friends)

Family Time Fun Dinner Games and Activities, by Family Fun Time.

Fancy Nancy: Tea Parties, by Jane O'Connor and Robin Glasser.

Manners Can Be Fun, by Munro Leaf.

The Well Mannered Monster, by Marcy Brown & Dennis Haley.

Manners for Kids & Teens (Ages 9-16)

A Smart Kid's Guide to Social Networking Online, by David J. Jakubiak.

Cliques, Phonies, and Other Baloney, by Trevor Romain

Dude, That's Rude!: (Get Some Manners), by Pamela Espeland & Elizabeth Verdick.

Emily Post's The Guide to Good Manners for Kids, by Cindy Post Senning, Peggy Post, and Steve Bjorkman.

The How Rude! Handbook of School Manners for Teens: Civility in the Hallowed Halls, by Alex J. Packer.

The How Rude! Handbook of Family Manners for Teens: Avoiding Strife in Family Life, by Alex J. Packer.

Etiquette & Civility

Emily Post's Etiquette, 18th Edition, by Peggy Post, Anna Post, et. al.

Everyday Etiquette: How to Navigate 101 Common and Uncommon Social Situations, by Patricia Rossi.

Poised for Success: Mastering the Four Qualities That Distinguish Outstanding Professionals, by Jacqueline Whitmore.

The Power of Civility, by Yasmin Anderson-Smith, Laura Barclay, Lew Bayer, et. al.

Hostess Gift Ideas for the Holidays, Part III: Decorative Gifts

In parts I and II were ideas for "food and beverage" and "kitchen and party" hostess gifts. Here are some "decorative gifts" suggestions for your hosts/hostesses:

Decorative Gifts

•  Pumpkin, Cinnamon, or Peppermint Scented Candle
•  Decorative Note Cards
•  Candy Dish
•  Flowers or Plant (perhaps a Poinsettia, Christmas Cactus, or Amaryllis)
•  Picture Frame (even better, add a special photo of the family to the frame)
•  Christmas Tree Ornament
•  Decorative Holiday Item
•  Soap/Lotion Gift Set

Christmas Cactus

Lenox Candy Dish, $12.99
(www.domestications.com)

 

Hostess Gift Ideas for the Holidays, Part II: Kitchen and Party Gifts

In part I shared ideas for "food and beverage" holiday hostess gift ideas. That hopefully got you thinking about the variety of opportunities for hostess gifts. Part II of hostess gift ideas are in the "kitchen and party" category. As noted previously, aiming for $5 to $15 is a good ball park. Many wonderful gifts can be found at HomeGoods, Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Bed Bath and Beyond, Stein Mart, and many speciality stores. Here are some suggestions:

   Kitchen and Party Gifts

    ·  Wine/Martini Glass Charms (glass markers)

   ·  Battery Operated Salt and Pepper Grinders (nice to include the salt and pepper too!)

   ·  Electric Wine Bottle Opener

   ·  Decorative Bottle Stoppers

   ·  Martini Glasses

   ·  Margarita Glasses

   ·  Cookbook

Wine/Martini Glass Charms, $15.95
(WineRackStore.com)

Bottle Stopper, $7.99
(Bed Bath and Beyond)

Rechargeable Wine Opener, $9.98
(Sam's Club)

Hostess Gift Ideas for the Holidays, Part I: Food & Beverage Gifts

Do you wonder when to bring a hostess gift? Are you sometimes at a loss as to what to purchase for a hostess gift? When attending a dinner party or holiday party, it is thoughtful and appropriate to bring your hostess/host a gift. While etiquette doesn't require that guests bring a hostess/host gift for an open house, it is always the gracious thing to do. And being gracious never goes out of style!
Remember that the gifts needn't be expensive. Aim for $5 to $15. Homemade gifts are also appreciated! Be creative. You can find many wonderful gifts at Homegoods, Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Bed Bath and Beyond, Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, Sam's Club, Costco, Trader Joe's (excellent pumpkin bread mix!), and Stein Mart.
Here are some hostess gift suggestions for the holiday season:  

Food and Beverage Ideas
· Jar of Apple Butter
· Specialty Jam
· Caramel Apples
· Apple Cider Spice Mix
· Seasonal Bread or Cookie Mix
· Infused Cooking Oil
· Wine
· Liquor Filled Chocolates
· Specialty Coffee
· Chocolate Covered Pretzels
· Fudge
· Box of Candy
· Homemade Cookies
· Homemade Bread
· Popcorn Seasonings
<> 

Popcorn Seasonings, $7.95
(Crate and Barrel)

Liquor Filled Chocolates, $18
(Chocolate.com)

Caramel Apples, $29.95
(Williams-Sonoma)

November Gift Giving Etiquette

In planning your November gift giving, note that the:
 - Flower for November is the Chrysanthemum, and

 - Gemstones for November are the Topaz and Citrine.

Mind Your Manners

Thank you to Bill Ward of the Minneapolis Star Tribune for keeping the importance of manners in the forefront in today's article, "Mind Your Manners." In it he highlights segments from the book, How To Behave: A Guide to Modern Manners, by Caroline Tiger. The book is on my to read list.

The update I make to a suggestion in the article is that when the person in line ahead of you tries to get 22 items through the 10 item only lane, to begin counting off the item number would be equally as rude. Rather, a statement such as "You must not have realized that this is the line for 10 or fewer items" if the cashier has not yet realized this; it is the cashier who is responsible for monitoring the flow of the lane and directing this person to the appropriate lane.

I also suggest avoiding name calling (even in your mind) such as "bozo" or other terms. Sometimes, people really are clueless. Give them the benefit of the doubt, just as you would want for yourself.

Incivility Toward Blind Child

It is irksome enough when people show lack of kindness, civility, and compassion for adults, though it is particularly horrendous when people act in such a way toward children, especially a little one that has a disability.

Here is a story about a little boy who has been blind since birth and uses a white cane. The article states how some people will actually step over his cane in annoyance because they feel he is holding them up. Some of the readers comments to this article are cruel. One wonders whether those making the cruel comments really believe what they are writing, or are just writing to annoy others. Either way, it is uncivil and uncalled for.

Article: "Be more sensitive with my son: Angry mother says people 'tut' at her blind toddler as they assume his white cane is a toy"

Children's Etiquette Class, Feb. 19, 2011

"Manners and Dining Etiquette for Children"
Saturday, February 19, 2011
10:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. (registration at 9:45a)
Edina Country Club, Edina, MN

Register at www.civilitycentre.com

Program is designed for children ages 6 - 8

• Have you wondered if your child is on their best behavior when away from home?
• Does your child remember to shake hands and introduce him or herself when meeting new people?
• Does your child understand how to use the placeware at the table?

Provide your child with the skills to be successful and build self-esteem, character, confidence, and social skills through an age appropriate interactive class on etiquette.

In this class, your children will cover a multitude of areas such as introductions, being a friend, manners at home, manners at the dining table, and writing thank you notes.

$119.00 per participant
Class includes a served lunch with a dining etiquette discussion and training. Raffle prizes included!

Business Etiquette Essentials for Women Course, Feb. 24, 2011

Register for the upcoming course, Business Etiquette Essentials for Women:

Date: Feb. 24, 2011
Time: 11:15a - 4:00p (Registration 11:15a) (Lunch included)
Location: Vescio's Cucina, St. Louis Park, MN
Click Here to Register

Women, take your skills to the next level and learn tools for your business success! During this program, you will learn tools that will give you the ability to interact confidently, communicate more effectively, and leverage your power and presence in the workplace.

Topics Covered:
– How Your Voice Can Work Against You
– Impact of Your Business Appearance
– How to Gain Credibility During Introductions and Handshakes
– Impact of Body Language for Women
– Recognizing Indirect Aggression Among Women
– Business Dining Guidance for Women
– Tips for Dining Alone
– Travel Safety
– How to Be Your Own Mentor

Incorporate Etiquette & Civility Into Your New Year's Resolutions

As we start 2011, many of us have made a handful (perhaps even a long list!) of New Year's Resolutions. Do your 2011 resolutions include opportunities for civility and kindness? Do your children's resolutions include manners? Consider creating resolutions for yourself and help your children with their resolutions this year that focus on civility, etiquette, respect, patience, kindness, and making relationships better. You may want to set a goal for yourself in one or more categories. There are so many ways we can be kind and considerate toward others. What can you do to make a difference? What can your children do to make a difference? Everyday is a new opportunity to make a positive impact in someone else's life. If we all commit to doing just one thing more positively in this realm, we help in creating a kinder and more civil society. Here are a few suggestions for the New Year:

Out and About

• Purchase a cup of coffee for a stranger


• Let someone else have the booth or window seat at the restaurant


• Avoid using the phone or similar technology when in a restaurant


• Be considerate when using your cell phone in public such as monitoring the volume of your voice and avoid using phone's speaker capability


• Keep your cell phone put away when checking out at the grocery store


• Avoid giving mean looks to the mother with the screaming child at the store


• Let someone merge in your lane ahead of you while driving
  

At Work

• Give a coworker a handwritten thank you for their help with a project or in meeting a strict deadline


• Stay late to help out a coworker even though it isn't your "responsibility"


• Avoid taking an office mate's chair for a meeting


• Returning an office mate's stapler if you borrowed it


• Don't leave the copier jammed for someone else


• Avoid holding loud conversations outside another's cube


• Avoid leaving rotting food in the refrigerator
  

At Home

• Keep technology away from the table while dining with your family


• Sit down to dinner as a family at least once a week or once a month


• Be a good sport about your children's games no matter if their team wins or loses


• Always RSVP to an invitation


• Treat family with civility by not taking out on them a bad day at work


• Do not interrupt family members when they are speaking
  

Resolutions Children Can Make

• Write thank you notes for gifts within a week of receiving a gift


• Keep the volume on the TV tolerable for the family


• Clean up mess on table at fast food restaurant


• Take clear phone messages


• Knock on a closed door


• Shake hands and not "bump" when meeting someone new