Cross-Cultural Dining Etiquette: "Good Luck" Foods Around the World

Do you have traditional foods in your family that are considered "good luck" to eat on New Year's Day? For example:

• Do you eat 365 black-eyed peas before noon on New Year's Day?
• Do you eat 12 grapes at the stroke of midnight?
• Do you ensure pork is part of the meal?
• Do you ensure cooked greens are part of the meal?

Test your cross-cultural savvy by reviewing the "good luck" foods from around the world and the meaning behind these for New Year's Day. Thank you to Whole Foods Market for sharing this information!

Children's Thank You Note Etiquette: The Art of Gratitude

With the holidays winding down, it is a good time to help your children and teens write thank you notes for their gifts. While the general guidelines of etiquette state that if you have thanked someone in person for a gift, it isn't necessary to send a handwritten thank you note, taking time to express gratitude through handwritten notes is a good skill builder for young people, as well as a welcome surprise for those receiving these notes of gratitude.

Consider age appropriate thank yous:

Children under age nine often love to make their own thank you cards. Provide resources for them to be creative such as fun colored papers, pens, pencils, stickers, and glitter. Adults can help very young children with writing "thank you." No matter the age of the child, they should each sign their own card, even if they haven't mastered the art of signing their name.

Older children and teens may choose to either create their own cards or purchase thank you cards. Adults can provide an opportunity for young people to shop and select their own cards which helps young people to build their confidence and feel "grown up." These young people are often of the age that they are able to create their own sentiments, however, they may still need some encouragement to write.

Some additional tips for thank you notes:

- provide a dictionary for children and teens to use in their writing
- no email thank you notes unless it is simply to let the gift giver know that the gift was received if it was sent by mail; follow up with a handwritten thank you
- send thank yous within a week of receiving the gift, though it is never too late to say "thank you"
- set time aside (schedule if necessary) to write out the thank yous, and make it a fun family event

In our hurried world, by making the time to handwrite thank you notes, your children and teens will build skills in the art of expressing gratitude and graciousness.

Workplace & Leadership Civility Survey - Your Feedback is Important

We need your input!

The Etiquette Centre of Minneapolis is conducting a survey on "Workplace & Leadership Civility" for the upcoming book, The Power of Civility, forthcoming May, 2011. We would really like to know your thoughts, your experiences, and your suggestions. This survey will take approximately 7-10 minutes to complete.

Workplace & Leadership Civility Survey (click here for survey)

Thank you in advance for taking the time to participate in this survey!

Should you have any questions, please contact Laura Barclay at (763) 432-9008 or by e-mail at: laura.barclay@etiquette-centre.com.

Science Behind Kindness and Compassion

Kindness, compassion, civility, respect, empathy, forgiveness, graciousness...why is it that some people seem to display more of these qualities than others? Could you make a list of those you know that either do or don't display these qualities? Which list would you fall in?

The Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin-Madison will be conducting research on how qualities such as kindness and compassion actually develop and in turn, could be nurtured.

To learn more about the Center, see: http://www.investigatinghealthyminds.org/.

Importance of Handwritten Notes

I was reading the September issue of the Costco Connection and was especially interested in this month's debate: "Should students still be taught cursive writing?" I was somewhat surprised that there is even a debate. The replies against learning cursive seem to indicate that all is needed is technology and that cursive writing is no longer used or important.

From an etiquette perspective, there is a time and place for both technology and cursive writing. Cursive is important for handwritten thank you notes, letters, invitations, and more. Think of how you feel when someone makes the effort to send you a handwritten note rather than an email or a text. What impression does it make on you? Does it feel more personal? Handwritten notes go a long way in making impactful positive impressions. As people move more and more to technology, you will really stand out and be remembered by making the effort to actually write by hand. It is not old-fashioned or stuffy. Rather, it is courteous, memorable, and creates a personal connection you cannot make with an email or text.

To read the article, click here.

Neighborhood Manners

If you have ever had an ongoing row with one of your neighbors, you may (or may not?) appreciate what Judge Huey of Tampa, Florida ordered neighbors in a decade-long feud. To help restore civility and neighborly manners, the feuding neighbors are ordered to hold six months of neighborhood potlucks. Will this work? Doubtful it will create friendships. Restore civility? Perhaps. We will see.

To read the article, see: "Pass the Peace: Feuding Neighbors to Hold Potlucks."

Niceness Predicts Leader Success

Nice Guys and Gals Finish First

The School of Industrial and Labor Relations at Cornell University studied 72 senior executives from 31 companies and found that “bully traits,” poor interpersonal skills, arrogance, impatience, stubbornness, and hard-driving style were detriments to executive success. Rather, successful executives demonstrated strong interpersonal skills, good people management skills, and self-awareness. Being “nice” was a tool of success.

To read the report, see: “When It Comes To Business Leadership, Nice Guys Finish First.”

Cell Phone Courtesy

July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month! For tips, see the Etiquette Centre's July Newsletter: http://conta.cc/clwMCu.

Etiquette Centre of Minneapolis June Newsletter

The June newsletter is ready for viewing at: http://conta.cc/a8IbwB. This month features the following: U.S. Flag Etiquette; Edina Country Club and Etiquette Centre of Minneapolis Partnership; and In the News!

The End of Empathy

College students have about 40% less empathy than college students did during the 1980s or 1990s (University of Michigan Study of nearly 14,000 college students). See: The End of Empathy

I would add that additional causes of the growing lack of empathy in our culture are due to reality television shows where peering into another's life and troubles becomes commonplace and unfortunately, humorous to some viewers; and the proliferation of violent video games and shows where such unreal events take away from the realness of actual events occurring on our world (as the article states inability to distinguish fantasy from reality).

This lack of empathy is one reason that civility and manners training is so important in our world today. It is not about stuffiness and rules. Rather, it is about genuine caring of another's feelings. About showing kindness and graciousness. And about empathy – the understanding, awareness, sensitivity, and capacity to put oneself in another's shoes so to speak.

A great question for our society: Who's shoes are you wearing today?

Workplace Bullying

Bullying is not just something children do. Many adults have experienced bullying at work from yelling/screaming, belittling, fist pounding, to sabotage, and more.

Why is this important? See: "For Businesses, Bully Lawsuits May Pose New Threat."

Cell Phone Etiquette - Phones Off at Networking Events

Cell phone etiquette: It is important to turn your phone off at networking events. At today's eWomen Network meeting, I was touring the vendor booths prior to the start of the event. I was at one booth where they had facial products, body products, and cosmetics which I love. The consultant was putting lotion on my hand and describing the product to me when her cell phone rang. She abruptly stopped talking in mid-sentence, turned sharply, grabbed her cell phone, and hastily motioned for the other consultant to come over as she took the call. No "excuse me this is urgent," and no apology afterwards. The other consultant had seen this exchange and was noticeably embarrassed by the other woman's behavior. Needless to say, I will never consider doing business with what I refer to unfortunately now as the "cell phone woman." I am guessing she doesn't even know that her behavior was rude. I do appreciate however that I have a new example to share with my readers and in my workshops!

Technology Impact on Kid's Friendships

If you have teens or close relationships with young people, you may find the following article interesting: How Does Technology Affect Kids' Friendships?

Are kids engaging in anti-social networking or more supportive relationships with technology? Actually, it could be a little of both. And, rather than anti-social, perhaps it is a new type of being social? An important point raised by the article is that rather than one-to-one communication, it tends to be group chats which can diminish a child's reading of social cues, important in face-to-face communications. More research will need to be conducted to determine the long-term consequences.

Fashion Index Relates to Market Index

Have you considered lately the colors and patterns of your clothing? Have you noticed a change in both look and feel of current ready to wear clothing? Image experts and retailers such as Barney's, Neiman Marcus, Target, and others, suggest that bright colors, bold and floral prints, become more prominent as the market improves. "Fashion...is an index of change, registering shifts in confidence and mood too subtle to glean from the rise and the fall of the Dow." (Ruth La Ferla) More on the story at: "Bull Market? Try Peacock"

Drive-Thru Etiquette - Tip: Don't Crawl Through the Drive-Thru Window!

As an etiquette consultant, there is a never ending array of topics on the subject. While I doubt we need a course on the subject of drive-thru etiquette, perhaps some individuals need guidelines. For example, a less than courteous McDonald's patron could benefit from implementation of the following:

- be courteous to the employees
- do not crawl through the drive-thru window
- do not slap or in any way strike the employee
- do not park your car in the drive-thru lane
- do not threaten the employees

"McDonald's Customer Crawling Through Drive-Thru for Fish Sandwich "

The 10 Beauty Mistakes That Add 10 Years

I remember when I was young (under 18), I loved the thought of looking older. Now that I am "a little older," I prefer to look younger. If you can relate, Allure magazine shares the 10 beauty mistakes that can add 10 years to your appearance.

1. Thick foundation
2. Foundation that is too light
3. Thick concealer on dark circles
4. Face powder on top of lines
5. Blush applied to apples of the cheeks
6. Lipstick that migrates
7. Lipstick that is too bright, dark, or sparkly
8. Applying mascara to the lower lashes
9. Eyeliner on lower lashes
10. Sparkly shadow on the outer corners of the eyes

To read the full article: http://bit.ly/bJq5yK

Search Committee Etiquette

If you are or ever have been on a search committee, you know that much investment of your time is involved. Not only this, there is appropriate etiquette and protocol to follow. Much has been published on candidate etiquette. Here is an interesting article on "Search Committee Etiquette": http://www.insidehighered.com/advice/2010/02/12/brottman. While written for the academic arena, many of the tips can apply to other arenas. Note the follow-up "comments section" too as there are additional applicable points raised.

Six Search Committee Etiquette Tips Listed:

(1) It is simply serendipity that you are an interviewer, rather than an applicant. Do not assume you are more experienced or capable than the candidate.

(2) Do not cram your candidates’ schedules with solid back-to-back interviews.

(3) If a candidate does not seem fascinated by your institution... it does not mean they do not want the job. It is possible this is a defense mechanism should they never see it again.

Note: I disagree with point #3. From the interviewer's perceptive, if I interview a candidate that does not seem very interested in the organization, our structure, facilities, etc., I would not consider them further. While a lack of enthusiasm may be a defense mechanism for some candidates, this would indicate to me that they would not be a good representative of the organization to the external community. Lack of enthusiasm would be considered poor candidate etiquette as it can cause the interviewer to wonder why the candidate "bothered" to come and "waste their time."

(4) Do not get sidetracked from the goal of the meeting. It is part of the search process, not a faculty get-together.

(5) Make sure you have read the candidate’s resume and made yourself familiar with his or her work. It can be easy to get candidates confused after reading hundreds of resumes. Be prepared.

(6) Finally, follow up with the candidates within two weeks of the visit to let them know their status. Even if you’re unable to release any information, drop them a line to let them know why you haven’t called.

Etiquette of a Photo Shoot

By Wendy Houser Blomseth
InBeaute Photography

“What can I expect at my photo session and will there be fans blowing?,” is a two part question we heard recently at InBeaute Photography. I answered with, “If you want fans blowing, we can arrange that, but business clients usually expect another type of service.”

Step One - The Studio: We realize that most people do not make a habit of visiting a professional photography studio so here's a brief overview to get you acquainted:

• At the very least you should be safe, warm, comfortable and trust the photographer and the environment.
• We recommend you arrive 10 minutes early so you can get both physically and mentally composed. Your exterior should be camera ready.
• I recommend a 2-3 minute meditation where you visualize yourself with a tall, strong spine and an inner feeling of strength, power and abundance with all the joy that you bring to your business and your life. Radiant eyes, smile and overall dynamic expression will go miles further than spending $1,000's on clothes.

Step Two - The Clothing: It is easy to search the web for clothing, hair and makeup tips, but here are my favorite tips:

• Put simply: clean, classic business formal attire will look best and attract your best clients/employers/prospects.
• Avoid big stripes, plaids, polka dots, etc., as they distract from your face.
• If you discover that you need help to transition from where you are now to where you want your image to be, attend an image enhancement workshop or hire a professional image consultant or makeup artist. They are experts in helping people improve their image to get the best jobs and best clients.

Step Three - The Session: Your business portrait session itself has several variables but typically:

• Session is scheduled for 30-60 minutes in front of the camera.
• Results can be 5 – 50 high quality photos that are well posed, well lit and show a variety of professional expressions.
• Generally clients purchase 2- 9 portraits for their business needs.
• Photo retouching is expected in almost every picture today but only to the degree that you still are recognizable as the same person.

Before making your final purchases think about:

• what is your objective with your pictures – what do you want to attract;
• where they will appear, e.g. in print or on the web;
• how they will be used, e.g. job search or advancement, marketing materials.
  

Most important is the image you want to display on social networking sites such as LinkedIn, Facebook, Meet-ups and the myriad special interest groups online.

We recommend you select one “best image” that is consistently seen on your LinkedIn profile and your printed business card picture. Other, second – seventh best portraits can be layered throughout your materials to create a visual story of you, your business and your personality. If you believe in the “laws of attraction” you may find that your best portraits attract your best life opportunities.

= = = = =
© Wendy Houser Blomseth
InBeaute Photography
say “in beauty”
www.inbeautephoto.com
651-225-9002
wendy@inbeautephoto.com

Business Etiquette Essentials for Women Workshop Announcement

Etiquette and Civility Are More Important Than Ever!

• Does your body language convey credibility?
• Have you wondered how to respond to an off-color joke?
• Do you know who picks up the lunch tab when dining with a male colleague?

Improve your opportunities, interactions, and learn to navigate the nuances for business women by attending the following course:

Business Etiquette Essentials for Women

Description:
Women have changed the workplace over the last three decades and today's etiquette rules for women are profoundly different. During this program, you will learn tools that will give you the ability to interact confidently, communicate more effectively, and leverage your power and presence in the workplace.

Topics Covered: - How Your Voice Can Work Against You - Impact of Your Business Appearance - How to Gain Credibility During Introductions and Handshakes - Impact of Body Language for Women - Recognizing Indirect Aggression Among Women - Business Dining Guidance for Women - Tips for Dining Alone - Travel Safety - Access the Back Door When the Front Door Is Blocked!

June 10, 2010
8:30a-11:00a
$149
Continental Breakfast Included
Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, downtown Minneapolis
Register Here

Register early as space is limited!

Etiquette of Powerful Networking Workshop Announcement

Etiquette and Civility Are More Important Than Ever!

• Have you set a stack of business cards in front of you at a networking event?
• Do you know how to make proper introductions?
• Have you had difficulty breaking away from a conversation at a networking event?

Improve your opportunities, interactions, and business development skills by attending the following workshop:

Etiquette of Powerful Networking

Description:
Much of today's business success revolves around the power of networking. Strengthen your impression management skills and learn effective ways to build rapport, interact confidently, and communicate more effectively - the skills needed to put others and yourself at ease.

Topics covered: - Making an Entrance and Working a Room - Proper Introductions - Areas of the Room to Avoid and Why - Confident and Respectful Eye Contact - Basic Body Language - 6 Types of Handshakes and Their Meaning - Business Card Protocol - Tips for Remembering Names - Starting and Ending Conversations - The 5 Taboo Topics to Avoid - The 5 Most Tasteful Topics of Discussion - Giving and Receiving Compliments - Online Networking Etiquette - Networking Faux Pas - Gracefully Exiting the Event - Appropriate Meeting Follow-up

April 20, 2010
8:30a-11:00a
$149
Continental Breakfast Included
Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, downtown Minneapolis
Register Here

June 8, 2010
8:30a-11:00a
$149
Continental Breakfast Included
Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, downtown Minneapolis
Register Here

Register early as space is limited!

Dining Etiquette Workshop Announcement: Dining for Profit - Navigating the Nuances of the Business Meal

Etiquette and Civility Are More Important Than Ever!

• Have you embarrassed yourself and a colleague by debating over who picks up the check?
• Has a client you dined with had something stuck in their teeth and you wondered if you should mention it?
• Have you ordered a salad at a meal interview?

Improve your opportunities, interactions, and learn to navigate the nuances of the business meal by attending the following workshop:

Dining for Profit: Navigating the Nuances of the Business Meal

Description: Business leaders say their most successful business meetings outside the office were conducted at a restaurant. Furthermore, employers say that a person's table manners (or lack thereof) may be a deciding factor in securing a signed contract or a position. Maximize your meeting success by polishing your dining etiquette and skillfully overcome anxiety while dining with potential clients.

During a tutorial 4-course lunch, we will cover: Host and Guest Duties - Seating Protocol - Silverware Savvy - Navigating the Place Setting - Silent Service Code - American and Continental Styles - Eating Various Foods - Oops! What to Do - Small Talk / Table Talk - Tipping - Gracefully Paying - The Dos and Don'ts of Dining. Give yourself and business the competitive edge!

March 16, 2010
11:30a-1:30p
$149
Tutorial 4-course Lunch Included
Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, downtown Minneapolis
Register Here

March 25, 2010
11:30a-1:30p
$149
Tutorial 4-course Lunch Included
Pittsburgh Blue, Maple Grove, MN
Register Here

April 13, 2010
11:30a-1:30p
$149
Tutorial 4-course Lunch Included
Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, downtown Minneapolis
Register Here

Register early as space is limited!

Civility Lacking in Publicly Humiliating Your Team

Unfortunately, stars behaving badly doesn't seem to end. Whether in the public limelight, or office setting, humiliating your team is poor and hurtful, and worse when done publicly. According to the following article, Mary J. Blige publicly humiliated her band at a pre-Grammy event: http://bit.ly/d5TAvK.

While the article states that her band's musical director "said later that the diva was right to...diss the musicians," as an etiquette expert, I argue that it is never appropriate to show disrespect or to humiliate others. We all must remember that respect, kindness, and civility go a long way to create positive environments both at work and in our personal lives.

Apartment Living Etiquette

The title of an article, "Wis. man cited for 'rocking out' to John Denver" (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34925191/ns/local_news-minneapolisst_paul_mn/) seems to imply that this fellow was cited for listening to the music of John Denver. In reality, the issue is not the type of music this individual was "rocking out" to, rather that he was being disruptive to his neighbor.

Remember that when living in an apartment or townhome setting with shared walls, it is never appropriate to play music or the television so loud as it reaches your neighbors.

Military Manners

If you have served in the any branch of the armed forces, or watched movies dealing with new military recruits, you are likely familiar with the style of how leaders communicate orders. In the British Army, there is apparently a new trend toward manners where yelling ("barking") orders is no longer encouraged. Rather, they are taking a "touchy-feely" approach and "asking" recruits to follow orders. Interesting. http://bit.ly/8U5t3Z

Does Your Boss Lack Civility, Manners, and Office Etiquette?

Bad Boss Blues - Have you worked for a boss that falls into the category of "uncivilized?" Workplace expert, Lynn Taylor, author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job shares some interesting survey data on bad office bosses: http://ow.ly/HXie.

Pajama Etiquette - Pajamas in Public?

Have you been out and about and seen people dressed in their pajamas and wondered if they were perhaps sleepwalking, then realized they actually dressed this way to leave the house?

Simply put - No - pajamas are not appropriate in public places. Seems odd this has to even be stated, though apparently not everyone understands this faux pas. One professor shared with me that in the classroom, she often sees flannel pjs on both the gals and the guys. I would hate to think how these students would wish to dress (or even dress!) once out in the workplace.

Here is an interesting article on wearing pjs out and about: http://bit.ly/5Qj6hB.

Let me know your thoughts!

Fish Punish Fish For Bad Manners

"Fish Punish Fish For Bad Manners" - If you are like me, you might have thought this was a spoof. However, there apparently was research conducted that found male fish do chastise female fish for not being fair in their eating.

Interesting that scientists conduct research on the manners of fish. Perhaps it will help reinforce the importance of manners in humans?

Here is the article link: http://bit.ly/4BiZwe

Etiquette Centre of Minneapolis January Newsletter

The January newsletter is ready for viewing at: http://bit.ly/8eX9zw. This month features the following:

- Welcome Darci Puchtell, Children's Etiquette Expert!
- Five Top Tips for Job Candidates
- Should I Have Waited for the Client Before Ordering My Drink?
- Etiquette Centre of Minneapolis in the News- Upcoming Events

Etiquette Centre of Minneapolis December Newsletter

The December newsletter is ready for viewing at: http://bit.ly/5FKBcj. This month features the following:

- The Holiday Office Party: Career Builder of Derailer?
- Is It OK to Regift?
- Upcoming Events